I am a hoarder. Not in the TV sense, but in the sense that I will hold onto something that I might need one day, like old papers from Sunday school (we’re talking 1999 and lower), random bits of paper with funny quotes on them from when I worked (that I had plans to put into a journal so they’re in one spot and not on scraps of paper), business cards from various Etsy shops (and let’s be honest, since my purchase history is there, I don’t NEED those cards, but I can’t bring myself to toss them), and just tons of other things. I get emotional attachments to my belongings. Hell, I have underwear I bought that didn’t fit the way I liked, BUT I HAVE THEM JUST IN CASE. I mean, it’s ridiculous!!!
I need to go through and clean out my closet: there are things I have that I just do not wear. The same goes for my drawers. I need to put my t-shirts in the bin (I hope to turn them into a quilt, or some pillows or totes because I like the designs but the necklines touch my neck and I despise that; I have thought of somehow turning them into v-necks on my own and shortening the sleeves as well).
I know there are other things I can get rid of. For example, I have a box (like a big box) of pens and pencils. Six years of working for asshole attorneys means that my writing utensil collection expanded greatly. But most of the pens either don’t work anymore, don’t write how I like or I just do not like them in general. I need to go through the box and toss them. And believe it or not, there are pens in there (like a beautiful red jeweled one that my
Mom Santa gave me one year in my Christmas stocking) that I cannot bring myself to throw away because they’re fancy or from someplace. Ah, my emotions.
Beauty products are another area of disaster. Too many and never used. Ah, the pains and costs of trying to look like a human.
There are more areas of hoarding (the pile of our stuff in the basement) but right now, going through those isn’t possible and it will have to wait til we have our own place. But…these areas I can do. Why should I keep a bunch of t-shirts for wearing around the house when I don’t? I prefer to wear tank tops. In our media room/office we have two desktop computers, two laptops, the TV, the receivers, etc. It’s rarely chilly back here. In fact, I’m often too hot. So a tank top is my top of choice. And if I do put on one of those t-shirts, I end up ripping it off in a fit of joy. Or a hot flash. Aren’t those two the same things?
Something else I’m tossing out? The candy from Christmas. Karen buys us it each year (even when I have asked her not to, or to get sugar free). But I don’t need it. I am really trying to NOT eat like total shit this year. My health needs to be better. I want to lower my sugar, and lose weight. And, I’m going to. Even if all I lose is 10 pounds this year (although I’d be disappointed) at least I lost and didn’t gain. My dream is to lose 2 pounds a week. But even at 1 pound, I’m down 50 (I’m allowing 2 weeks of mistakes in that). However, 2 pounds a week would be AMAZING. That is at least 100 pounds down. I would be a NORMAL weight. Whoa. So pray that I can get the motivation and that I can stick to it. 🙂
Anyway, the junk isn’t just materialistic, or my weight; it’s my attitude. I want the bad stuff to go too. I want to have a more optimistic attitude. I’ll be 29 this year. I think it’s high time I stop acting like a petulant little child, don’t you?
That’s all, really. I felt like I had to get this off my chest. Or off my mind, if you will. 😉