Stocking Up and Moving On

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My favorite time of year is back to school. Even when I was not a student and worked full time in Hell the law firm, I loved the sales and buying supplies. I’ve always been a school supply junkie. When I was younger, my Mom gave my sister and I a weekly allowance, and I always wanted to go to Walgreens and spend it on notebooks and pens and pencils. Last fall, I bought a ton of Target brand 5 subject notebooks that were on clearance after school started for under $2 each. They are not my favorite, but I couldn’t resist. Even though there are over 10 of them in the closet, I bought some new ones for this year too. Oops.

See, I have 4 classes, chemistry, algebra, a psychology class (Lifespan Development), and advanced physiology. I like having a separate notebook for math classes, so I bought one when we were in Wisconsin in July. Then, I remembered how many notes I took for regular psychology, so I thought I’d do best to have a separate notebook for that class too. For advanced physiology, he told us that we get enough handouts to fill a 3″ binder by the end. I will either take a small, 70 sheet notebook (the books for A&P 101 and 102 were terrible to take notes on, so I didn’t, and I’m not sure how this book will be as it’s new to the school), or loose leaf paper to keep in the binder. It will depend on if I take notes or not. So then, that leaves chemistry. I’m not sure how notes will be in that class, so I might use a small 70 sheeter, or loose leaf paper, or a notebook (the notebooks are 3 subject ones). Sure, I could use a 5 subject, but then I have just 3 classes for it, since I will have the separate math one. And it’s easier to have the separate ones this semester because of my schedule. Mondays and Wednesdays I will have chemistry from 9 or 9:30 to 11:15, I can’t remember. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have algebra from 8-9:15 (still not sure what I was thinking here), and Fridays I’ll have the psych class from 9-11:45 and then advanced physiology from 12-4:45. So chances are good I won’t be taking my giant backpack (it’s made for laptops and it holds a lot, but it is very bulky so I’ll most likely just carry the books and notebook), and I don’t want to take anything more than I have to, so a larger notebook isn’t really awesome sounding to me, or my arms.

Kalen pretty much banned me from buying more pens and pencils. To say I have a lot would be an understatement. After working in an office for 6 years, I ended up with a collection of pens at home. I wasn’t stealing them, I’d sometimes bring home work though, and I’d forget them at home, or I’d toss a pen or two in my purse to take to court and forget to take it out, or I’d accidentally grab it, not thinking. To be fair though, I supplied the majority of my writing utensils while working there, because I’m picky. So it is an even trade, haha. He DID let me buy some pen refills for my gel pens, and some highlighters because I use them, often, and it was a good deal.

So, I think it’s fairly obvious what the stocking up portion of the title was about, so time to move on to moving on.

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Do you ever have a friend that is only around when they need you? And if you need them, they aren’t there for you, and then they get pissed if you call them out on such practices? Good, I’m not alone.

Lately, more friends than I’d care to mention have been like this towards me. I’m a good friend. I will randomly buy something that makes me think of that friend for them, I will offer to make things for them, and I will try to stay updated on their life. I’m by no means perfect but I do put forth effort in maintaining relationships with them. And they don’t reciprocate that. I once sent a friend a gift and it took a few weeks and a passive aggressive tweet to get a thank you from her for it. Maybe she wasn’t fond of it, I don’t know (she never said, and at this point I don’t care), but even if I get something I don’t like, I thank the giver for it. It’s polite, and how I was raised. It is the right thing to do, ya know?

Trying to maintain a relationship with someone who doesn’t try is hard. Like really hard. I’ve had the same issues with cousins who always say they don’t hear from me, or I don’t come around. The phone works both ways. So does visiting. Almost no one in my family has come to my house, which hurts. I like where I live, for the most part. I like how I set up my belongings. I’d like for them to see it. Just like I’d like texts sent out to friends (or family) to be answered. I like when a promise to text or call or come over is kept. Do not tell me you’ll do something, and after a week or two has passed and I’m pissed and say something try to blame ME for your silence. It doesn’t work that way. A friend told me that is why she doesn’t talk to me…so then what was the excuse for the time between when you said you’d do it, and when I finally said something about it not being done?

At this point, with school keeping me stressed out, and trying to move forward in my life, I realized that I don’t need these friends. It isn’t as if the friendship has been there recently, and what little sliver has been there was one-sided (you know, me trying to keep it going and being shot down time and time again), so why should I bother? School isn’t easy, and when it’s going on I have very little free time. I will go months without seeing someone because of school. In fact, I haven’t seen my friend/stepsister since last fall I think it was, because of school. On my free days, she always seems to be working. But even though we don’t see each other often, or even talk that often, it’s okay because we are BOTH maintaining the friendship. When I had to go to the ER, I posted it on Twitter. Did my friends mention it, or ask how I was? Nope, sure didn’t. But one DID manage to tweet to one of her friends that she was on the toilet thinking of her. Good to know where I stand.

So, I’m done trying. I’m done with texting them, calling them, messaging them, leaving them comments, or checking out their pages. I figure if I mean so much to them, they will rectify this and put forth the effort, and contact me (and no, I do not count Facebook/Twitter/email as contact when the person has my phone number or knows where I live), and if not, then that’s cool. I will be happy either way, because I’m bettering myself, and if that means I lose a few friends along the way, so be it. I’ve made new ones who are already showing me that they will be around, they will put forth the effort.

Expect another post soon, I’ve made a lot of new additions for the shop, and I’ll be photographing and editing and updating, so watch for the announcement.

xoxo-Amber

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